Who is the invader inside of me? I can't take it…
the hold to my soul I continually try to break it,
the monster attached to my body is possessing me
Distorting my true identity, twisting reality -
it's the crack that I'm taking
I'm addicted to,
and you, who I've victimized, by telling you lies to fuel my supply
Of real short highs then I think I can fly…
then I'm down again, on the prowl again
The monster in me growls again,
I'm devious, demonic, my thievery is chronic
My relationship with my family down to my mother is not even platonic
Crack is the quicksand! Crack got me sinking deeper!
Crack is the whip on my back It pages me like a beeper!
Crack!
I'm a slave to the rock but I know I can break free
I don't know how long it will take but it won't get the best of me…
I know I've
Repeated to everyone in my life
That I'm done with my addiction but I'm right back to being a hype…
So I'm looked at in disdain,
they don't see ME they see a vessel that consumes
Crack cocaine,
I'm so deep in debt and full of pain -
I do disgusting things
You wouldn't dream,
I flirt with death, I'm so ashamed…
They say turn to the Lord
But sometimes, after some of the things I do, my mouth won't form His name
I go to rehab for the monster I must tame.
When I get out, I'm strong and dry but
I've hurt so many people no one will try to help me farther because they are drained
Every time I relapse the dealer gains -
I'm going no where on this train
How did this happen? I can't explain -
my soul cries out - no one to blame
Two spirits doing battle in my body but I have just one brain
I know I can get the victory,
I see others who went through worse than me
I have an unquenchable thirst in me that will not be satisfied until Jesus
Helps me drive away my enemy…
God please bring in the troops to end the sin in me
I want to be a true testimony, not a religious phony
who turns his back on his
Brothers and sisters like those who claimed they had my back
but now act like they
Don't know me,
I know I can find the power, God, will you just show me?
Father please send someone to hold me!
I must force the dealer to find another way to gain his wealth
My desire for self destruction must be removed for my mental health
To end this living nightmare
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF.
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF.
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF.
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF.
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF!

CopyrightÓ 1998 Geoffrey Watts